the goose is getting fat
"One can never have enough socks." —Dumbledore
Christmas. What's it all about? Rayna and I increasingly have mixed feelings about this holiday season, which seems to have three very different focuses, or motives (if a holiday season can be considered to have a "motive"). The first motive is, of course, the profit motive. Christmas is far and away the most profitable time of year for the retail business. Each year we ask people not to buy presents for us, or the girls, but this seems to be an incredibly difficult request to honor. People just feel wrong not buying presents at Christmas, especially for children. But we have too much stuff, and our overall desire is to reduce, not accumulate possessions. But the sales and marketing industry has done such a powerful job that most people simply cannot conceive of a Christmas without a plethora of gifts for every man, woman and (especially) child. And this results in debt.
Once the excitement of the season has passed, many on low incomes, and even not-so-low incomes, are faced with paying off the debt accumulated over the previous month, entranced by the "buy-now-pay-later" promises, and the belief that stuff equals love. The banks delight in it, of course. Christmas for the banks and loan companies is a wonderful time, where their poorest clients are stretched beyond their means, with the longest loan periods and the highest interest rates. I have many friends who work for banks. They do "Agile transformations", helping the banks do what they do faster and more effectively. But wouldn't a real bank transformation be one where the bank rethought the whole system of rewarding the rich and punishing the poor? That's the kind of transformation I'd like to work on.
The second motive is compliance. Santa Claus seems to exist for the sole purpose of coercing free-thinking, imaginative children to become compliant and obedient. Apparently our society has a great need for hierarchy and control—for one group (in this case parents and school teachers) to rule over another (in this case children) using threats and promises, punishments and rewards. Asrai, having attended reception class at school for just a few months is already a victim. Yesterday she told Zoë that Santa would bring her coal and not presents if she were naughty. Asrai has made a choice to believe in Santa Claus, even though we tell her it's just a story, and that the original Saint Nicholas didn't judge people, but only loved them and tried to help. But which child doesn't want to believe in magic, flying reindeer and gifts made manifest out of thin air? It's a compelling narrative. We indulge her, but also hold to our own values, using such moments to open conversations about, failure and learning, or behaviours that indicate unmet need rather than disobedience.
We're taught to threaten our children in the name of Santa Claus, some going as far as having Santa's CCTV device installed, the "elf on a shelf" who watches children and reports back on their behaviour to Santa. And we wonder why our corporate workforce is made up of fearful, compliant people, unable to think for themselves and dependent on rewards and bonuses to actually get any work done. I get paid to undo that kind of mess, so I certainly cannot be perpetuating it during the early years, or supporting any institution that does. So after one term of being showered with "good girl"s and "well done"s on the one hand, and shamed in front of the class for misbehaving or not paying attention on the other we decided we're done with the school system, done with meaningless curriculums where children are measured by reaching "learning goals" rather than actually learning what interests them, and done with the message that good girls are the ones who do what they're told and don't think for themselves. From now on Asrai and Zoë will be in charge of their own learning, and we'll be there to guide and support. Sheffield has a thriving home schooling community, and we'll be immersing ourselves into that world in the new year, seeking out the curriculum-free folk.
The third focus of Christmas is the one the season is named for: the birth of Jesus. We struggle with that too. As Christians we are committed to putting our trust in God, following in the footsteps of Jesus, and honouring scripture. But scripture is not literal truth, and it is important to discern. The trouble with our major holidays is that we celebrate, on this one the birth of Jesus, and on the other (Easter) his death and resurrection. We have no holiday to celebrate the most important aspect: his life and work. Indeed, the apostles creed has reduced the life and work of Jesus to a comma. And then there's the whole dilemma of two birth stories. Clearly, nothing was known about Jesus until he started his mission, aged around 30 years old, "isn't that just the carpenter's son?". When it became clear to the early followers that this man was more than just another prophet it was necessary to establish a history and a lineage to convince others of his deity. Predictions of the earlier prophets were drawn upon, and a birth story created. Well, two birth stories, actually incompatible with each other, e.g. Luke has Mary and Joseph travel to Bethlehem, Matthew has them already living there, and fleeing afterwards. Luke has Jesus born in a stable, Matthew has him born in the family home. And so on.
It's amusing, and mildly annoying to see those nativity scenes with three crowned kings and a few angels hanging out in a stable. Neither gospel story has kings in a stable. Nor angels. In Luke's account there are shepherds who came to the stable after an angel appears to them in a field—and then goes away. The kings (actually magi) are featured in Matthew's account, and they find the baby Jesus at his parents' home, some months after his birth. If we are going to celebrate Jesus's birth, we should at least be scripturally accurate.
Rayna and I find Christmas time the most challenging time to attend church. Both raised as secularists it's tough to get past dismissing the whole virgin birth, son-of-himself stories as fantastical nonsense. Besides, there is no lesson, moral, philosophical or spiritual to be drawn from this fiction, nothing about a way to live, nothing to connect to as we find when studying the account of Jesus' life and work. But that's just us. And it's clear that to many Christians this is an important celebration and one they choose to believe is historical (although which of the two accounts, or what kind of amalgamation of the two is believed I'm not so clear). Perhaps the important thing is that believers in the virgin birth or not, we all recognise the important force for change Jesus was in his time, and still can be today. If we listen.
So what do I like about Christmas? I like the singing; I like large choirs in beautiful old churches; I like the Salvation Army's brass-rich renditions of Christmas carols on street corners; I even like the piped Christmas pop songs, one blending in to another as I walk from store to store or across a public square; I like the lights and the snowy, reindeer-infested store decorations; I like the excitement; I like the air of friendliness and love, the large crowds of people all focused on the same purpose; and I like the generosity I perceive as people donate clothing, food and money to help those in need. Christmas is a time for sharing, and despite all the other pressures, most people seem happy to support those less fortunate than themselves. In many ways Christmas does bring out the best in the human spirit. That alone is cause for celebration.
November News
On the last day of the month the moving team unloaded our belongings into our new Sheffield home. This time it's my excuse for being a week late with this newsletter—again! Mid-November saw an about-turn in our decision to live in one of Sheffield's inner suburbs, and we surrendered our three bedroom house in favor of a third floor, two-bedroom apartment in the very centre of the city. No regrets. It's wonderful living here: lights, people, noise and excitement from the moment we open our front door. It seeps in through the windows too, late into the night. We're urbanites alright, and this city fits us like a glove. The town hall, directly opposite, with its walls, pools and gardens is an instant playground to Asrai and Zoë, and right now the square is home to a small fun fair, complete with fairground horses dressed up as reindeer.
As mentioned above, we decided to withdraw Asrai from the school system. Nothing about it was working for us. Zoë may never see the inside of a school, except as a curious tourist. Our decision was influenced, or perhaps just validated by two books [1, 2]. I offer those to anyone dissatisfied with the current education system, or just curious about alternatives. New city, new choices. Life is best served fresh.
And so, go put a penny in the old man's hat, and have a wonderful December.
Tobias
November written & spoken word
7th December 2017, 00.00 am