Ritual and Rhythm

"Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door." — Emily Dickinson

I sat down last night to write this newsletter, once again with no clue as to what to say, but I was too tired, so slept instead and then rose with the dawn hoping for early-morning inspiration. Nothing doing. I decided to open a new door: I'd experiment with a random Bible verse generator, and commit to riffing on whatever came up. This came up.

"He then presented the ram for the burnt offering, and Aaron and his sons laid their hands on its head." — Leviticus 8:18

Oh dear.

The Bible is a fascinating collection of books, each one inspiring in its own way, but subtract a chapter and you already lose context, take out a single verse and you are left with ambiguity, and bafflement. Of course, there are many single verses that stand alone, and create an uplifting of spirit, or a provocation of thought.* This verse is not one of them. Apart from randomly hitting one of the 'begat' verses, this is about as uninspiring as they come. I was tempted to say it didn't count, and try again, but I had committed, so it was time to go through the door in search of context, to at least read the whole chapter. It's all about priesthood, of course, not something I have any interest in, indeed I might describe myself as having fierce opposition to priesthood in any form—religious, corporate or any of the other ways power hierarchies are used to control and oppress. Today we have high priests of Science, Medicine and Capitalism, commanding belief and seeking to punish, or marginalise those who stray from the true path. Nothing there to inspire.

Looking beyond priesthood, the story in its fullness is essentially about ritual, and I find ritual interesting. It is something I think western society has lost over time, especially in the 21st century, living as we do in a sense of urgency and panic, the orientation response firing every few minutes at the ping of the next snapchat or text message alert, skipping potential moments of stillness and reflection, living in a perpetual state of FOMO, and all in pursuit of success, money, status and other forms of self-interest. Even the sabbath has been co-opted to meet those ends. It is quite possible we are looking for those things in the wrong places, blind to life's time signature, seeking instant gratification rather than a more measured, melodic approach.

Ritual provides our lives with rhythm, with punctuation. Without it we live in a run-on sentence where life, like the writing from which this analogy is pulled, becomes more and more confusing, boundaryless, full of incomplete, overlapping ideas where deriving sense and meaning becomes very difficult. Everything matters, equally, all of the time. Except it doesn't. And this sounds like my life this past month. I think I need to pause, lay my hands on the next big idea, breathe, and contemplate value. I am too quick to act, so hurried as to forget what matters.

Priesthood mattered to Moses and Aaron, and so they took time to embrace it fully, to take it seriously, to give the concept the respect they felt it deserved. I see that I rarely do that. But to be fair to myself, I have taken steps this month to at least manage the panic and urgency. In a sense, I laid my hands on the bigger picture of my life, and after this pause I proceeded to sacrifice the social network apps from my mobile phone, and turn off all remaining alerts. I estimate that I've reduced my phone use by about 60-70%. This month I may sacrifice email, again to the greater good of a balanced life. Two days ago, late at night, I read an email that caused me great worry, right as I was about to go to bed. So easily it could have waited until morning, when I could act on the information, and thereby had a better night's sleep. Weak discipline comes from loss of ritual, loss of boundaries. And this opens up a much more imporatant question for me, how on earth can I be a disciple without discipline? It's the same word, the same spirit.

Once again I see that everything connects. My not-knowing led to opening a door; the open door led me towards an opportunity to introspect, to remember what matters. And then, Emily Dickinson.

* It is important to note, also, that the subtracting of individual Bible verses from their context has led to the perpetuation of great evil in the world, a subject far too vast for this occasional scribe to tackle. If you're interested in exploring this topic I recommend Not in God's Name by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, and The Good Book, by the late Rev Peter J. Gomes.

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July News

This past month was notable for my first workshop held in Sheffield. It's been a struggle to create compelling offers in this city, but this one came off. It was a storytelling workshop, and most people enjoy telling stories, so I guess it was an attractive offer. It takes time to establish oneself in a new city, but I was heartened by this one event. I love travelling and working in London, but I seek to discover local community. Sheffield is our home now. It's a beautiful, vibrant city, and the more I can participate in the community the more I will feel like I belong here.

I had two trips to London in July, one which came at a difficult time, coinciding with Asrai's changing sleep pattern—meaning she wakes up every night, sometimes two or three times in a night, disturbs the whole household, and leaves all of us tired and grumpy the next day. Oddly, being away from home didn't alleviate this for me. I remain connected to my family over distance. Our life is a shared experience, no matter the geographical separation.

One other notable event in July was a visit to the Old Vic with my sister, Juliette, on her birthday. We went to see A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness, directed by Sally Cookson. It is a stunning production, and a beautiful story. In fact, it is stories within stories, all speaking to the complexity and contradictions of the human experience. Highly recommended.

And now, August, that quiet month where UK citizens disperse across the world and institutions close down. With minimal work and travel, I get to be home with my family, and perhaps will establish a new balance to take me into the autumn. We'll see :)

Enjoy the summer holidays. I wish you rest from the toil.

Tobias

July Writing

I have not published anything this month, but here are a few previously-published essays that directly relate to the content of this week's newsletter.

1st August 2018, 1.00 pm