The Other Side
A superficial facade will sometimes mask a complex process of personal reconstruction
Thoughts on Dualism and Separation
"Dualism comes in many forms: between mind and body, in-group and out-group, and between the higher and lower instincts between which we must constantly choose. It may be that binary opposition is one of the fundamental ways in which we understand the world. But divide humanity into absolute categories of good and evil, in which all the good is on one side and all the evil on the other, and you will see your own side as good, the other as evil." —Rabbi Jonathan Sacks
This quote comes from Sacks' book Not in God's Name in which he explores the root of conflict, how religion contributes, and how it might offer us a path to reconciliation. He identifies three outcomes of a dualistic world view: first, the dehumanisation/demonisation of the other, which leads to seeing yourself (or your group) as a victim, and lastly the act of "altruistic evil"—murder in the name of righteousness. Sacks is focused on the big conflicts, tribe against tribe, nation against nation, religion against religion, but it doesn't take a big leap of the imagination to see this dualism play out at much smaller levels, at work perhaps, or within our social groups.
The demon/victim stages may play out in reverse order; more likely there is oscillation and iteration, each feeding off the other until a crescendo is reached, and murder follows. Not actual murder, of course, but perhaps character assassination, rejection, disrespect, castigation or simple avoidance of the other. There are certainly times when I find myself falling into, first gossip, then indignation (being a victim), then judgment (demonising the other) and eventually into a desire to push away or exclude, justified in my righteousness, fuelled by the agreement of my companion/s. It sounds blatant, but it's not. It is subtle, and I think we all engage in this form of dualism far more often than we are aware. It can be detected in simple everyday phrases like "I can't belive she said that!" or "who does he think he is?", or even something as innocuous as "I don't think he likes me", or a passing judgment on someone's fashion sense, hairstyle, loudness of voice, lack of awareness of the space they are taking up, or any number of behaviours that annoy us.
In current western culture, fuelled by patriotism, individualism and a cultivated sense of scarcity our first reaction to the different, the out-of-place, the unfamiliar seems to be one of judgment, not one of curiosity. My commitment for the month of June is to stay watchful of my own dualism, to attempt to reframe my assumptions as questions, to change my knowing into not-knowing. There is no Other, there is only One.
What else is new?
I started the month with a day of improvisational singing and movement, followed by a day of learning about the Quaker Business Method. Very different, but complimentary experiences. The former raised my confidence, the latter lifted my heart, the two together inspired my imagination.
Later in the month I hosted another Scrum Exchange. I love these events, as I get to be a #TrueScrumMaster, bringing good people together, opening a space, offering a vision, and getting out of the way so self-organisation can occur. And then simply observe as the magic unfolds, engaging as I choose. I also ran a couple more Scrum workshops, and spent a lot of time home with the girls while Rayna pursued her Human Givens study, and "played at the edge" with the wonderful Steve Chapman.
Over the next couple of months I have a few workshops and events I'm excited to share with you. These are all listed below, and I hope your presence will grace one or more of these. Always a pleasure to engage in person :)
That's all for now. Enjoy the June sunshine.
Tobias
May Writing
2nd June 2017