Stranger Danger
Reflections on darkness, demons, loneliness and love
"We live in a world where bearing witness to a stranger's unfiltered story is an act of tremendous compassion. To listen with an open heart and an open mind and try to understand what it's like to be them...takes real courage." —Catherine Burns
You seem to be a person who's not afraid of darkness. I'd like to tell you my story. These words were spoken to me, by a stranger, in a church, following a seminar on enemy love. It's surprising how chance meetings can blossom into friendship through the simple desire to share one's truth. My new friend and I met twice this month and our stories unfurled around us as we sat outside Arthur's on Twickenham Green, sipping coffee. Sure, there was darkness in those stories, perhaps unfathomable darkness, but there was more besides. A life can only become a story worth telling if there is hope and redemption.
Without hope life remains incomplete, frayed, broken, a crackling cry that no one can bear to hear. In such dominant darkness madness lies. Today I had a non-encounter with a woman in Islington, crying out in anguish to the world as pedestrians steered themselves away to the far side of the pavement. I wanted to speak, to reach out, to say, you sound angry, tell me about that, but I too couldn't bear the madness, the raw pain, and I turned away, head down, ashamed.
What does it take to show up for a stranger, or for the alien other, the one who seems so far removed from our own reality? At times like this it takes more courage than I can muster. My Twickenham friend knows her darkness, has embraced it, tamed it perhaps, as I tamed my own. Drawing on faith and right relationship we are able to recognise the possibility of light, to become whole. Through sharing our lives in story we learn to embrace our demons, and thus speak of them calmly, with acceptance and even with love. For my new friend I am present. It doesn't take much, only curiosity and time.
The stranger in Islington, well, her demon is still raging wildly, untamed, drawing her ever more deeply into shadow. I was unable to talk with her as she was essentially two people, and in retrospect I see I didn't know which one to address. And yet she too has her story, and given time and patience perhaps it can also be heard—perhaps it must be heard if she is to survive at all.
I am left at the end of the day, writing into the early hours of tomorrow, wondering how I might find the courage, and make the time to bear witness to the story of one who is unlike me, one who is even a threat to my safe, ordered world. For me, I think it begins with a reminder, and surely a truth: There, but for the grace of God, go I.
July News
July was a full month. I never quite know if what I do is work or leisure. I think it's all entwined. Sometimes I create income through my activities in the world, other times not. Either way I tend to enjoy myself, which is richness in itself.
A quick run through my July... Storytelling workshop, Tom Jones concert in Canterbury, trip to Brighton to visit a good friend, Reimagine Work event (a fantastic day, by the way—words fail me), a delightful CSM class, a new workshop: Take Back the Space, Abba Mania concert with Asrai, the first ScrumMaster Clinics, and two opportunities to run Embodied Agility workshops.
That's July wrapped up then—a rather cool July in fact. Now we look forward to sunshine, holidays and hot August nights. And if you're in London, don't forget to sign up for the next Scrum Exchange on 7th September. The last two sold out, so click that link soon!
Enjoy your summer.
Tobias
July Writing
1st August 2017, 2 am