Relational/Transactional February 2026
Scarcity appears when wealth cannot flow.
— Lewis Hyde
Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
— Matthew 6:19-21
I'm offering an event soon, The Edge of Reason, and it isn't attracting as many people as I'd hoped for. I was curious to learn why, so I asked. It turned out that for many in my community the offer was too vague: they couldn't see what they would get from it. There were no clear learning objectives. Some people felt they knew all they needed to know about the subject (online facilitation) so the return wasn't worth the investment. This is a clear shift from how people would show up pre-pandemic. Back then, people would come to my workshops because of the people that came to my workshops. I joined workshops for much the same reason. We came for relationship. Learning outcomes were secondary.
It appears we are moving from a relational community to a transactional one. Here are some differences. The relational is characterised by abundance, giving, openmindedness, difference, risk, the unknown. It asks, "What can I do?". The transactional is characterised by scarcity, getting, suspicion, sameness, safety, the known. It asks "what can I get?" and it frequently says "It's not fair!" Transactional weighs up the pros and cons; it thinks about return on investment. Transactional waits, saying "First, I need to know.", while Relational takes action, embracing the unknown, and says "We'll figure it out on the way".
You get the picture. What's interesting is that in times of scarcity (which for many of us is these times, now) we respond sensibly, carefully, we respond transactionally. It is the wrong response. It is during such times as these that we need relationship more than anything else. We need to look at life with abundant eyes and a faithful heart. Instead, we allow ourselves to be driven by fear, and as a result we experience a loss of balance. To counter scarcity with scarcity is to create a downward trajectory, a positive feedback loop—no, not the good kind of positive, rather the kind that turns a gentle, loving whisper into a high-pitched scream by repeatedly responding like with like.
Nobody actually wants what the transactional has to offer. We think we want it: more money, more stuff, bigger house, faster car, but when we get it it isn't enough. It is never enough. I am reminded of the story of King Erysichthon of Thessaly and the goddess Demeter. When Erysichthon in his arrogance destroys her sacred grove to build his banqueting hall Demeter curses him with insatiable hunger, and the more he eats the hungrier he gets, selling all he has, even his own daughter. Ultimately he devours his own body. It is a grim tale.
"Scarcity appears when wealth cannot flow", says Lewis Hyde in his 1983 masterpiece, The Gift. People in my community, we preach the vitality of Flow in the business world, and yet here we are creating blockage through our need for safety, and our fear of losing what we have. Wealth isn't just your money, it is all your assets, physical, intellectual and spiritual. By approaching this difficult time with a scarcity mindset we prevent the sharing of our gifts. We hoard.
One does not need to be a Christian to recognise the wisdom in the Matthew quote above, where 'heaven' can be understood as Jesus described it: here, now, on earth—if we create it. We can choose to hoard, to live fearfully, and create our own private hell, or we can choose to share our gifts, creating heaven on earth for ourselves and those we come into contact with. It means stepping out of fear and into faith. Is it time for a reset?
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Recent News
I took my own advice this month, threw myself into a course of study not knowing what I would get out of it. There was a promise of health and wealth, but beyond that I went for the relationships, mostly for the instructor, Moe Choice, a friend of the past ten years. In the second week of this twelve-week, two-hours-a-day course I discover I am waking up in unexpected ways. I have more energy, I'm in spring-cleaning mode a month early, I'm kinder, I'm sleeping better. Something has shifted. And it's odd because on the surface this course is teaching me things I don't like and have never wanted to do, activities that make me cringe: branding, marketing, chasing and tracking leads, selling myself! It sounds awful. Yet here I am, with five others in my small cohort, supporting one another through the fog and towards the light.
At the beginning of the year I started drawing again, challenging myself to complete a drawing a day. It seems I inspired a few in my work community, so we set up a 28-day challenge for February, using a set of prompts that have meaning in the work we do. You can see the developing results in our gallery, updated each day: #BreakfastArt. Another improvement is joining Pilates classes again, which feels good. I was physically stagnating. Too cold and wet to run this winter, non-stop rain for 20-something days now, but hopefully when spring arrives I'll venture out again.
Time to send this newsletter. To close, here's the second verse of George Barker's twelve-verse poem about the months of the year—brilliantly accurate for February 2026.
February scuttles under any dish's lid and she thinks she's dry because she's thoroughly well hid but it still rains all month long and it always did..
Until soon,
Tobias
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Upcoming events
- 27th February: The Edge of Reason, online — An open-space forum to learn and improve your facilitation skills.
- 7th May: Scrum Without Tears, London — A rare in-person workshop, a prelude to the Scrum Exchange.
- 8th May: The Scrum Exchange, London — A much-loved gathering of Agile practitioners for self-organised learning and camaraderie.
12 February 2026, 7.00 am Subscribe to this Newsletter